Commissions: Closed.
Art Trades: Closed.
Brain: Has disappeared.
editedit:Rewrote journal......I am reminded of just how quickly life stops for a moment before us, a split-second until it passes us without a second thought.There was nothing special about today. Another day at school, learning various things in a half-awake state. Another day with friends, laughing at every joke we created, and even those words which were not meant to be silly, but somehow were. Another day spent staying up late, expanding my previously-antisocial-boundaries and completing homework for when the sun rises and the cycle begins anew.
Picture this perfectly ordinary day in your mind.
Then imagine that the dog you've shared four years with, you found at the top of the first flight of steps, lying on his side with his eyes glazed and wide open, mouth gaping in an everlasting last breath, tongue lolling out unintentionally as he clung to life.
This is the scene that awaited me as I tiredly staggered up the stairs toward the bathroom. Every nerve in my body jolted with shock as I saw him lie there; the blank expression on his face, his teeth glinting in the one light I had just turned on, was enough to startle me into wakefulness.
Shock. So I did the first thing that became possible for me to do. I said his name.
There was no response. I said it again, knowing that he was half-deaf and partially-blind due to cataracts. Nothing. For a moment, I thought he was dead. Then he twitched. Once. Twice. Motionless. Again.
Convulsions.
I hurried up the remaining stairs as fast as I could. My other dog, much to my surprise, though I didn't really think about it until just now, was lying quietly in the hallway, immediately sitting up and staring up at me with wide, dark eyes. She made little crying sounds quietly, and watched me enter my parents' bedroom.
Yes, it's 1:30AM in the morning, and yes, everyone is sleeping. But this is my mom's dog; he is more important than missed sleep.
Both mom and dad rushed down to my dying dog, realizing as I did that he did not respond at all. Dad went to check the phonebook for emergency veterinarians open this late. Mom didn't want to put the dog down,
just in case he would miraculously recover. Dad looked anyway. I couldn't watch anymore, felt my mom needed to be alone with her beloved pet of 15 years.
When I came back down, he was gone.
He's gone.
We will bury him tomorrow, when it is day and my sister is awake and she and my grandparents will be ultimately stunned that he is gone.
My other dog, the female, she immediately went outside as soon as I woke my parents. She's sitting still like a statue out there, in the dark. I wonder if she's keeping vigil for his passing. They were best friends to one another. I wonder how she will deal now, without company.
My mom is devastated; he was her first dog and her main company before.
I think I'll draw her a picture, even if it's not much.
The only solace I can offer now is that maybe he is chasing FedEx guys across the clouds, finding delight in exploring his boundary-less new territory. No more blindness, no more deafness, no more flashes of pain or trouble climbing stairs. Have fun, little guy. You can bark all you like up there.

R.I.P. Won Won, the World's Bravest, Cowardly Doggy.
